2009

Well, not exactly. Most of all it’s because some of my friends ain’t there anymore, ‘Disneyland’ has gotten a minor makeover and the fab is much more in order in terms of 5S. Coincidentally I’m also using the pedestal and car sticker of my former colleagues. Work wise it’s getting a bit more serious that what i encountered before, no more extreme slacking around and sitting in the office surfing the net for the whole afternoon. Anyway, I’m glad I retained quite a lot of the things that I’ve learned the last time around, that I have a kick-ass boss and for having the rest of my colleagues I know that are still there.

2288

It’s still too early to tell how crazy work will get, good or bad I’m still determined and looking forward to what is ahead. Bottom line is that, I’m satisfied with where i am with my work now. Of course we can always complain about work, about the pay but we often overlook the good and what we have currently. Everyone wants a higher pay but how much is enough? We often feel that we’ll be satisfied with ‘this amount’ of salary but when we’ve reached that point, dissatisfaction can still surely take over if we don’t learn to appreciate the basics or what we had in the first place.

2010

Also at the same time I’m gonna have to channel every possible extra juice that i have left to finishing my studies. Thankful for my latest results as it was a better than i had expected so now I’m on my final year, my final stretch to crossing the finishing line and i do hope i make it!

:)

9 months ago i joined the company for what would be my first real job and nothing could have prepared me for what i have came across in a real work environment…not with what i studied in uni or even not with the personal accounts of my fellow friends who have already joined the workforce. I must admit that at first i was naive because i expected for things that i could never get in a real work environment and that really got me struggling with the whole ‘work-life’ thing. For one, i couldn’t really understand and accept the fact that backstabbing, people taking credit for other people’s work and stubborn people boasting as if they are Einstein happens quite often at work. I allowed these issues to bother me emotionally and so i got very unhappy and dissatisfied at work…i was ready to walk away.

Factory shoes

However, slowly i’ve learned. I’ve learned that no matter where i work, there are bound to be people that i will not get along with. I’m far from perfect too and i’m prepared to accept that other people would not see eye to eye with me. We’re just a big bunch of very different people trying to work towards one goal, how can i expect everyone to agree to the same methods? But of course there are cases where stupid actions from certain colleagues are just not right, beyond the line of individual differences, plainly stupid and unethical…but that too, i’ve also learned to accept. Another thing that i struggled with in the beginning was the Japanese work culture which is far different from our Malaysian or European work cultures. It’s not that it’s bad because we see a lot of huge Japanese corporations around the world doing very well…it just took me a whole lot more time settling into it.

Anyway, for the last two months, i tried to channel my thoughts towards a more positive manner…i told myself that i had to be patient and be thankful that i have a job and able to bring home a humble paycheck every month to support myself. Well, it helped! I didn’t give a damn on people who pissed me off anymore, i just concentrate on my task, i let those who wanna take credit for my work to do so because i know there’s a higher power above that always knows who does what and so i was much happier at work.

During my free time

With that, I thought i would stay put at least for quite some time. Then, an unknown call one January afternoon created a detour for me and soon i was on my way back to the previous company that i trained with. After putting much thought into the situation, i finally decided to leave my current company. I handed in my letter and i got mixed responses from my colleagues. Some wished me good luck and told me that it was the right thing to do but some weren’t that ‘friendly’ about it. There were the bitter ones who said i was stupid for leaving because i’ll just be more busy, get more stressed out at my job. Fact of the matter is that i think it’s very much up to personal preference. I can be super free at my current job but still i don’t have my own table or computer to do my own things, i would still need to hunt for a place to sit down…and to me, that’s not rest or freedom…it’s agonizing. Imagine putting yourself in an empty room with nothing, you’ll be very free but you’ll probably go insane also.  Is also like choosing between starving for 5 hours and then having to eat grass, or starving for 7 hours and have a New York Steak. I think those who strongly believe that they just want a super free job, are just lazy people and for sure we would still be using two rocks to start a fire if all of us humans are like that.

So yeah, even though i was getting happier, it was more about me pushing aside the negative things. I mean, the negative issues were still there, just like a pebble in my shoe. So when another job opportunity came along, i thought that it’s time to give it a try, and maybe get rid of the pebble. I told some of my friends that it’s like you walking under the hot sun, you wouldn’t die, maybe it’ll just be very uncomfortable…then along the way if someone hands you an umbrella (an opportunity), wouldn’t you take it?

Lunch that taste much better that it looks

Finally, I’m not saying that my new job will be better, i know i’ll need to struggle and learn everything from scratch. There will be people that would pissed me off and times that i’ll get stressed out but having a prior knowledge of the place, the culture and most of all the friends that i’ve acquainted from my tenure there as a trainee is i think, sufficient for me to want to give it my best shot at making this new chapter of my life work out in its best way!

Time to hang up my suit for good

Tomorrow is the 25th of February…

My last goodbye at work

My gratitude to my current colleagues who have taught and supported me throughout the whole 9 months, and thanks to those who respected my decision to leave. I wish u guys the best and hopefully we’ll meet again someday. Thank you.

Semester 2 exam
I had my exam one day after my last post. I hate the fact that the exam time is never enough for those exams that require lots of writing (essay/short answers). It’s writing all the way from start to end and sometimes it feels like if i pause to think, i’ll be losing my marks from not having enough time to finish answering. My right hand always feels abused after ever non-calculation exam. Anyhow, i felt a bit better about this sem’s final and although i knew that i was only 1 mark away from the next best grade when my results came out 3 weeks later i was still overall satisfied. Classes for my third sem started even before my results were out and because it’s sort of a short/summer semester, everything is squeezed into a much tighter packed semester. Bad news is that i have less time in between assignments and my up coming final exam is a week before chinese new year. cock!

Penang
I was over at Penang in one of the weekends after the long wait (I bought the ticket in July this year). To be honest there aint a whole lot more places to shop there compared to Kuching so most of the time i was just going places, looking for food. My top priority was the cendol (mission accomplished!) but other than that i got to try the indian ox tail soup, super delicious dim sum, prawn mee, loh mee, curry mee, lok-lok, some roti-canai look alike wrap with hot-dog and cheese, J. Co baby donuts, Winter Warmer afternoon tea, Char Siew Puff and Paddington HOP Pancakes!

Cendol

My last trip to Penang Hill was probably almost 20 years ago so it was great to be back there on this trip. The weather was perfect and we could not have gone at a better time (5pm sunset).

Bukit Bendera

Indeed i had the holiday withdrawal syndrome when i got back to Kuching 3 days later and im really looking forward to another trip somewhere. Only problem is that i practically have z-e-r-o leave…nada. Sigh…it’s especially hard having to see all those Airasia promotions almost every month and not able to plan a freaking trip. Case of got money also cannot go holiday. WTF!

Big THANK YOU to my friends in Penang who were very accommodating.

Work
S-U-C-K-S!

A lot of factors contributing to the fact that i getting very demotivated at work. In OB this sem, i came across this topic about motivation in an organization. Apparently there are many theories about motivation such as Maslow’s. Yeah it’s just a theory but it’s fking true because i can so relate to it. Really i’m not trying to be a fussy/fked up/over reacting employee and everyone knows there’s no perfect place to work.

However, at my current position in my department and the way the organization is structured,

1. My bosses will never know who’s doing the real work because they spend a whole lot of time away from us in the office. I once read somewhere “You’ll be surprise on how far you can go if you careless about recognition” and for a short time i tried to live by that motto but I’ve come to realize that it’s only true in a certain way. I mean, when everything is going right, when im trying to work my ass off to make sure things are going well, no ones really gives a damn. Ok fine i can live with that but once something goes wrong, it’s like all eyes are on me, grilling my ass over how did it happen. Another scenario, sometimes after a hectic morning working like a horse i go for my lunch break and i may take a slightly longer break (knowing that all the machines are running ok)…but any of my top superiors see me, they give me the ‘wtf are u still out here catching snake for’ look. In a way i cant fking blame them rite, they dont know who actually did the freaking work. So how? I’m not ‘recognition’ crazy but i believe personal development also relies alot on feedback and recognition. Feedback good or bad help and recognition (higher appraisal marks) motivates people to work but if your bosses don’t know who’s doing what in the first place, how are they gonna rate you based on individual performance. It’s sad to say that just few days ago, i was putting in some extra effort refurbishing some of the machine parts and few of my colleagues walked pass and said “Don’t need to do lah, do so much for what? Nobody sees what you are doing also”. At the end of the fiscal year, everyone gets almost the same pay rise/bonus even for those people who never put in any effort. How would the employee feel? So yea, the culture that has been around is “Why do so much? Got do or not also same” and 10 years down the road, everyone is not very far off in terms of personal development from where they started, no?

Who's who, doing what?

2. We all know there’s no place on earth that’s free from people that just plainly get on your nerves but amplifying to the first issue above, there are people who are experts in taking credits but never do anything. I know one who not only does exactly that but also a retard in prioritizing his work. Not tending to important machines that have broken down to do something extremely unimportant. So retarded that is like telling his wife who is in labour at home that he has to finish mowing the lawn first before taking her to the hospital, so retarded that is like him insisting on trying to finish brushing his teeth in a burning house.  Almost 99.9% of the time either he finds something unimportant to do or not do anything at all when there’s an important task at hand. Not only that, after everything, he claims credit for the work or at least act as if he done something in front of the bosses. Sadly again that’s how he climb the corporate ladder to where he is now.

And all the little other things regarding leave, duty on Saturdays, no office table, computer for us is enough for me to want to leave. I wont die there but i rather not be there. Of course there are wonderful colleagues there too who can make certain days less agonizing that it really is.

Semester 3
Im taking accounting and organization behaviors this sem but i only have one exam. The latter only requires me to submit two long assignments in which one is about scenarios related to organization behaviors such problems with communication, trust, motivation, employee behaviors, appraisal, empowerment , corporate culture etc. Maybe my problems mentioned above are, in a way blessings in disguise.

I admit, sometimes

There are times i feel like this part time study thing is such a burden and i feel like giving up but say what you say, i really do learn a whole lot of new interesting stuff foreign to my current discipline. Sides, no pain no gain.

END
I should end here. A too long of a post gets boring. Till then.

No, not the terminator. If my stupid sinuses could talk, im sure that’s what it said three weeks ago when i was feeling better…because, it’s back.

Remember this?

I went to work this Monday with a headache (more like a face ache), bodyache and toothache and it felt like my liver was not doing its job of regulating my temperature properly (Dejavu). I didn’t just wake up like that, everything sort of slowly started few days before that. Anyway being the loyal employee (because im still under PROBATION), i didn’t want to screw up my appraisal by taking A Sick Leave…and so i went to work lah and hoping i wont get stop at the ‘body temperature’ check point the company set up at all entrances (H1N1 precaution).

Mid-day, everything got worst, so i told my colleagues and boss i wanted to take the rest of the day off, sacrificing my very precious annual leave. The thing is that some of the reactions i got from my senior colleagues was so irritating. Saying as if  im pretending and trying to cheat them that im sick and that im just lazy. I mean, what the fuck is wrong? Even if im cheating im using up my own leave anyways. I dont see how it’s gonna affect them manpower wise especially im working in a totally different factory. Im not hyper sensitive and i didnt blow up in front of them, it’s just so damn sad that some of them are so unprofessional. Still think we in primary school, giving reasons because we dont want to attend classes.

Anyway, ignoring those jackass people, i just took the rest of the day off. Guess what, i consulted three doctors in one afternoon. Went to one which referred me to another one with the required equipments to do further checking and diagnostic and then to another company’s panel doctor. I got more medicines than the sweets and cookies i usually get during Christmas. So after three doctors, having weird foreign objects inserted into my nostrils, csi like cotton swab of my inner nose and $$$ spent later, im diagnosed with acute sinusitis again. The doctor told me that only if i could sell my sputum, i’ll be rich, (*Can get my D90) and that if the problem last longer than 3 months, it’ll be considered chronic and will be very hard to treat.

Hope im not the next Heath Ledger/Wacko Jacko

The nurses insisted

First doctor gave me a day off but third doctor gave me two days because symptoms of sinusitis are quite similar to flu and since everyone is all super alert of H1N1, he thought it might be better to keep me at home and refrained from freaking people out. Maybe i should just have went back to the jackasses at cough at their faces. =P

Speaking of sick leave, my dad actually asked me on Sunday night to take the next day off…but then remember, i was still being loyal. But after feeling like crap on monday, i gave it some thought. It’s just a job and we’re just trying to earn some money. The company don’t own me, they pay me for my mental and physical capacity only. (*My econ lecturer told me wan – resources: Land, Labour, Capital) So, even if i fucking die, the most i get is a wreath from them or maybe even not. Im not saying we shouldnt be responsible as an employee but as humans we get sick. Sigh, too bad company culture/policy makes it as if it’s a sin to get sick, deduct marks here and there. Aiya, can see trend wan mah, if i every monday get sick than different story la!

Oh well, life goes on…

People mountain, people sea

We are each unique in our own ways, because that’s how God created us. But once in a while, we come across people that we just cant stand. Be it whether the person is rude, inconsiderate, selfish or just plainly, an ASS.

"Hee-ho!"

The past weeks at my new workplace were about meeting new people and getting to know them. Unfortunately though not surprisingly, there are people that sucks, and they suck bad. I try to tell myself that’s life, and that i cant like everyone i meet. On the other hand, i just can’t seem to understand why people do the things they do that pisses other people off. I ignore them most of the time although it is one thing, whether to allow them get to my nerves and another all together for them to just annoy me beyond my control, even if i ignore them.

No explanation needed

They seem to be following me everywhere i go…or maybe crappy people are just everywhere…or maybe im just crappy myself. Billions of people in the world and you get stuck with them, it does make you wonder why, doesn’t it? Im not saying im perfect and im the best person but i do use my brain to think on how to be considerate to others before opening my big mouth or doing something. We may be different but God gave us all a brain each, right?!

Part of my responsibility

Anyway, finally after sitting around in the office not doing anything, i get some real work -  setting up three new insatsu machines that just came in. First machine was scheduled to be up and running by last Friday but i guess schedules, like rules are made to be broken…at least that’s the culture of my current workplace. I’ve been putting in extra hours after 5pm for the past week, meaning almost 13 hours at work. I leave for work just as the sun rises and only to get home when the sun sets below the other horizon. 13 hours at work, 9 hours of sleep, 1 hour return journey to work and im left with 1 hour a day for breakfast, dinner and showering. Oh wait, i forgot there’s something called l-i-f-e. S! Too bad, not enough time.

'To'

Rainy 'Fro'

Oh well, at least im trying to think positively, reminding myself to show my teeth and :D everyday, trying to look on the bright side and hoping at the same time that i dont get blinded by letting it get ‘too bright’. Life is not without its obstacles, and one is always never enough…i just need to learn how to manage it better.

Always one too many

and complicated

On another note, Korean for tonight, yippy!

:D

Just like any other company, it’s a routine for new staff to get trained and mine lasted almost for more than a week of classroom training and all of it then comes down to a test that i need to sit for tomorrow. In which failing will result in a re-training >.< If i pass, then it’s on to 4 x 2 day/night shift that im so not looking forward to, despite the extra few $$$ that i’ll be getting from that. Im still trying to get used to the new environment and i have to admit that although im starting to get the hang of things, i still feel…out of place. It feels way way different than my previous posting, i feel lost.

Still lost

Timing has also been ‘perfect’. Having to start work in May and therefore not have any annual leave for my post-grad finals sucks. Because that means i need to apply for unpaid leave, that means i don’t get paid, that means i get a less than satisfactory score for my attendance in which will affect my increment, bonus, appraisal. There’s also more fuss in applying for ‘unpaids’ as im required to explain to my bosses, show exam schedule, write formal letter. Im not trying to challenge company’s policies or complain but all these could have been avoided if the ‘timing’ was slightly better. Furthermore, my classroom training just had to start on the same week as my final exam. As if i didn’t have enough things to read and remember. So for the whole week, my schedule was 8am – 5pm training, 7pm-11pm study and 11pm-6am…too tired to sleep. I was becoming a zombie.

Not just any unpaid. Late for work unpaid

Anyway, the zombies we watch on telly usually have superhuman strength and they can never be shot dead right? Like immortal or something. Well, i felt totally the opposite. My head started to hurt all the time everyday, i started to get fevers, feeling hot then cold, i lost my sense of smell so everything i ate tasted pale (try eating while pinching your nose, you’ll get what i mean). I also had a toothache so i went to my dentist to check one day after work and guess what, he found nothing wrong with my tooth. It was agonizing every fcking day having someone pounding my brain with a hammer, drilling on my tooth and fooling around with my ‘internal temperature sensor’ everyday. I felt so shaken up like my organs are all misplaced and have gone crazy. It’s like i get an error pop up message “Sorry, your liver has encountered an error while trying to do it’s job and needs to shut down.” with no close or restart button. My only solution was painkillers which helped slightly and everyday i took at least 3, at the same time help fill my office’s waste basket with panadol wrappers.

I couldn’t see a doctor as 1) I didn’t have enough time to finish revising for finals 2) I had to see a specialist and they’re usually closed at night 3) I couldn’t afford to take sick leave because im missing 2 mornings of training for my finals already and taking sick leave means worst appraisal, bad impression, bad increment…blah blah blah…so this went on and on until last Saturday when the specialist said…

“AH! SEE!” Pointing to this

Red - eye sockets. Blue - Sinus (one big one small)

Apparently after listening to my symtomps, he suggested i go take some ‘photos’ of my head and there at last, the reason to all my sufferings – acute sinusitis. So infected it cant fcking drain itself so it gets swollen and causing toothaches, headaches and fevers. Only after i came home did i check online and saw so many of the symptoms that i had was in the freaking symptoms list. Gosh, how i wish that my TOTO jackpot numbers can kena so many same as the numbers in newspaper.

Thankfully, i feel better already. I still have to take meds for two weeks and go back for a checkup. Fingers crossed, i hope it’ll be the last of these recent sickness stint.

Oh ya, they took an extra shot and i’ve found out that…

Im brainless!!

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