1. Felt optimistic coming into 2010
2. Making the decision to change my job
3. Bidding goodbyes to friends I adore
4. Crazy workload + the occasional intense frustration
5. Went to the place I always thought I would have proposed to my partner
6. At times having my post-grad studies eat my life away
7. Realized that the people around me are moving along and that nothing last forever
8. Feeling optimistic about 2011 (here we go again…)

2010 was quite an uneventful year and unfortunately I never really did get to cross anything off my bucket list. Nevertheless, I do see being alive everyday a blessing and I hope the few dreams I’ve lined up for 2011 will come true…knowing that I would have to be prepared to open a door that was often shut.

It’s been a while and this is post no. 7 for 2010. Happy New Year!

9 months ago i joined the company for what would be my first real job and nothing could have prepared me for what i have came across in a real work environment…not with what i studied in uni or even not with the personal accounts of my fellow friends who have already joined the workforce. I must admit that at first i was naive because i expected for things that i could never get in a real work environment and that really got me struggling with the whole ‘work-life’ thing. For one, i couldn’t really understand and accept the fact that backstabbing, people taking credit for other people’s work and stubborn people boasting as if they are Einstein happens quite often at work. I allowed these issues to bother me emotionally and so i got very unhappy and dissatisfied at work…i was ready to walk away.

Factory shoes

However, slowly i’ve learned. I’ve learned that no matter where i work, there are bound to be people that i will not get along with. I’m far from perfect too and i’m prepared to accept that other people would not see eye to eye with me. We’re just a big bunch of very different people trying to work towards one goal, how can i expect everyone to agree to the same methods? But of course there are cases where stupid actions from certain colleagues are just not right, beyond the line of individual differences, plainly stupid and unethical…but that too, i’ve also learned to accept. Another thing that i struggled with in the beginning was the Japanese work culture which is far different from our Malaysian or European work cultures. It’s not that it’s bad because we see a lot of huge Japanese corporations around the world doing very well…it just took me a whole lot more time settling into it.

Anyway, for the last two months, i tried to channel my thoughts towards a more positive manner…i told myself that i had to be patient and be thankful that i have a job and able to bring home a humble paycheck every month to support myself. Well, it helped! I didn’t give a damn on people who pissed me off anymore, i just concentrate on my task, i let those who wanna take credit for my work to do so because i know there’s a higher power above that always knows who does what and so i was much happier at work.

During my free time

With that, I thought i would stay put at least for quite some time. Then, an unknown call one January afternoon created a detour for me and soon i was on my way back to the previous company that i trained with. After putting much thought into the situation, i finally decided to leave my current company. I handed in my letter and i got mixed responses from my colleagues. Some wished me good luck and told me that it was the right thing to do but some weren’t that ‘friendly’ about it. There were the bitter ones who said i was stupid for leaving because i’ll just be more busy, get more stressed out at my job. Fact of the matter is that i think it’s very much up to personal preference. I can be super free at my current job but still i don’t have my own table or computer to do my own things, i would still need to hunt for a place to sit down…and to me, that’s not rest or freedom…it’s agonizing. Imagine putting yourself in an empty room with nothing, you’ll be very free but you’ll probably go insane also.  Is also like choosing between starving for 5 hours and then having to eat grass, or starving for 7 hours and have a New York Steak. I think those who strongly believe that they just want a super free job, are just lazy people and for sure we would still be using two rocks to start a fire if all of us humans are like that.

So yeah, even though i was getting happier, it was more about me pushing aside the negative things. I mean, the negative issues were still there, just like a pebble in my shoe. So when another job opportunity came along, i thought that it’s time to give it a try, and maybe get rid of the pebble. I told some of my friends that it’s like you walking under the hot sun, you wouldn’t die, maybe it’ll just be very uncomfortable…then along the way if someone hands you an umbrella (an opportunity), wouldn’t you take it?

Lunch that taste much better that it looks

Finally, I’m not saying that my new job will be better, i know i’ll need to struggle and learn everything from scratch. There will be people that would pissed me off and times that i’ll get stressed out but having a prior knowledge of the place, the culture and most of all the friends that i’ve acquainted from my tenure there as a trainee is i think, sufficient for me to want to give it my best shot at making this new chapter of my life work out in its best way!

Time to hang up my suit for good

Tomorrow is the 25th of February…

My last goodbye at work

My gratitude to my current colleagues who have taught and supported me throughout the whole 9 months, and thanks to those who respected my decision to leave. I wish u guys the best and hopefully we’ll meet again someday. Thank you.

Anyway, I know i’ve neglected this blog for quite a while but just right after my last post, i started on a ’summer’ semester which was a lot shorter with more lectures and assignments in between. I’ve also been picking up pace at work because of increased orders and new equipments arriving at our doorstep, all brought on by the recovering economy. Then there were the Christmas and new year holidays. I only had time to sit down and take a breather after my 3rd semester’s final exam ended a week ago.

So, I did some changes to my blog layout as i got kinda bored with the old black theme. It felt dark and gloomy and brought on a sense of a sad, emo blog (i guess it was one but…oh well nvm). Hence the very white theme now. Sometimes change is good because it freshen things up although to be honest i don’t really know whether there would be anyone reading my blog anymore, thinking that ‘it’ has passed on :P

Anyhoo, this will be a short entry just to signify the return of my blog. Yeah there have been certain positive changes to my life since the end of last year in terms of my outlook on life and a career change that i would blog the next time around. I’m also running out of time because it’s Chinese New Year and i’m gonna be late for reunion dinner.

So Happy Chinese New Year everyone!! Have a blessed Tiger year. And no, don’t have any Chinese NEW YEAR resolutions ;)

Semester 2 exam
I had my exam one day after my last post. I hate the fact that the exam time is never enough for those exams that require lots of writing (essay/short answers). It’s writing all the way from start to end and sometimes it feels like if i pause to think, i’ll be losing my marks from not having enough time to finish answering. My right hand always feels abused after ever non-calculation exam. Anyhow, i felt a bit better about this sem’s final and although i knew that i was only 1 mark away from the next best grade when my results came out 3 weeks later i was still overall satisfied. Classes for my third sem started even before my results were out and because it’s sort of a short/summer semester, everything is squeezed into a much tighter packed semester. Bad news is that i have less time in between assignments and my up coming final exam is a week before chinese new year. cock!

Penang
I was over at Penang in one of the weekends after the long wait (I bought the ticket in July this year). To be honest there aint a whole lot more places to shop there compared to Kuching so most of the time i was just going places, looking for food. My top priority was the cendol (mission accomplished!) but other than that i got to try the indian ox tail soup, super delicious dim sum, prawn mee, loh mee, curry mee, lok-lok, some roti-canai look alike wrap with hot-dog and cheese, J. Co baby donuts, Winter Warmer afternoon tea, Char Siew Puff and Paddington HOP Pancakes!

Cendol

My last trip to Penang Hill was probably almost 20 years ago so it was great to be back there on this trip. The weather was perfect and we could not have gone at a better time (5pm sunset).

Bukit Bendera

Indeed i had the holiday withdrawal syndrome when i got back to Kuching 3 days later and im really looking forward to another trip somewhere. Only problem is that i practically have z-e-r-o leave…nada. Sigh…it’s especially hard having to see all those Airasia promotions almost every month and not able to plan a freaking trip. Case of got money also cannot go holiday. WTF!

Big THANK YOU to my friends in Penang who were very accommodating.

Work
S-U-C-K-S!

A lot of factors contributing to the fact that i getting very demotivated at work. In OB this sem, i came across this topic about motivation in an organization. Apparently there are many theories about motivation such as Maslow’s. Yeah it’s just a theory but it’s fking true because i can so relate to it. Really i’m not trying to be a fussy/fked up/over reacting employee and everyone knows there’s no perfect place to work.

However, at my current position in my department and the way the organization is structured,

1. My bosses will never know who’s doing the real work because they spend a whole lot of time away from us in the office. I once read somewhere “You’ll be surprise on how far you can go if you careless about recognition” and for a short time i tried to live by that motto but I’ve come to realize that it’s only true in a certain way. I mean, when everything is going right, when im trying to work my ass off to make sure things are going well, no ones really gives a damn. Ok fine i can live with that but once something goes wrong, it’s like all eyes are on me, grilling my ass over how did it happen. Another scenario, sometimes after a hectic morning working like a horse i go for my lunch break and i may take a slightly longer break (knowing that all the machines are running ok)…but any of my top superiors see me, they give me the ‘wtf are u still out here catching snake for’ look. In a way i cant fking blame them rite, they dont know who actually did the freaking work. So how? I’m not ‘recognition’ crazy but i believe personal development also relies alot on feedback and recognition. Feedback good or bad help and recognition (higher appraisal marks) motivates people to work but if your bosses don’t know who’s doing what in the first place, how are they gonna rate you based on individual performance. It’s sad to say that just few days ago, i was putting in some extra effort refurbishing some of the machine parts and few of my colleagues walked pass and said “Don’t need to do lah, do so much for what? Nobody sees what you are doing also”. At the end of the fiscal year, everyone gets almost the same pay rise/bonus even for those people who never put in any effort. How would the employee feel? So yea, the culture that has been around is “Why do so much? Got do or not also same” and 10 years down the road, everyone is not very far off in terms of personal development from where they started, no?

Who's who, doing what?

2. We all know there’s no place on earth that’s free from people that just plainly get on your nerves but amplifying to the first issue above, there are people who are experts in taking credits but never do anything. I know one who not only does exactly that but also a retard in prioritizing his work. Not tending to important machines that have broken down to do something extremely unimportant. So retarded that is like telling his wife who is in labour at home that he has to finish mowing the lawn first before taking her to the hospital, so retarded that is like him insisting on trying to finish brushing his teeth in a burning house.  Almost 99.9% of the time either he finds something unimportant to do or not do anything at all when there’s an important task at hand. Not only that, after everything, he claims credit for the work or at least act as if he done something in front of the bosses. Sadly again that’s how he climb the corporate ladder to where he is now.

And all the little other things regarding leave, duty on Saturdays, no office table, computer for us is enough for me to want to leave. I wont die there but i rather not be there. Of course there are wonderful colleagues there too who can make certain days less agonizing that it really is.

Semester 3
Im taking accounting and organization behaviors this sem but i only have one exam. The latter only requires me to submit two long assignments in which one is about scenarios related to organization behaviors such problems with communication, trust, motivation, employee behaviors, appraisal, empowerment , corporate culture etc. Maybe my problems mentioned above are, in a way blessings in disguise.

I admit, sometimes

There are times i feel like this part time study thing is such a burden and i feel like giving up but say what you say, i really do learn a whole lot of new interesting stuff foreign to my current discipline. Sides, no pain no gain.

END
I should end here. A too long of a post gets boring. Till then.

The 12 buttons that i express my feelings through

Anyway, i’ve been having my current phone for almost 2 years now and i think it has served me very well. Basically it has everything from a good screen, a superb camera, 3G, GPS and being a Nokia, it’s so freaking user friendly. However, at my most recent juncture, i need something to entertain me at work and although being the great phone it is, the N82 is not much of a entertainer, so to speak. So today, i’m packing it and having it sent off to a friend of mine who i know very well will continue to take care of it :P

It was down memory lane as i was clearing my text messages, pictures, sound clips and videos off my phone yesterday. I mean there’s no denying that our phone can be one of our most ‘personal’ belonging. I’ve texted happy messages, sad messages, taken crazy photos/videos, had  happy, sad, irritating, nervous conversations over it, listened to music with it and had it guide me around Bangkok. Without it, i would have also been late for exams and work many many times.

Helped immortalized the events in my life

I am a very sentimental, nostalgic person and it’s not just with this phone. It could be a receipt, a ticket, a book, an empty bottle or anything that was given to me by special people, it tickles my heart and can get me all emotional. lol

From the very first shake, till the last kiss, you have never failed me :P

and so for the last time……

thank you & au revoir.

Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Tonight was great, being with friends, being with people i know. Laughing till my cheeks hurt, seeing people i lost touch with. Despite the fact that maybe fate has it that it’s still not the right time for me, i know for sure that at least, i can go to bed tonight with a grin on my face, not that best smile but for tonight, a grin will do. :)

To my family, bradas and friends. For without whom, I’m nothing.

Goodnite!

Someday…

Anyway, i’ll just sum up the last few weeks here, writing what i remember la and throwing random pictures. Actually im supposed to be studying but i figured i might not have time to blog anymore until after my exams which is in about…3 weeks time, so i’ll do one post.

Cant remember when but it was a wednesday la, went to my ex-colleague’s house for a farewell bbq. I met him during the interview and we ended up joining the company at the same time. Recently he got an offer from the marine police and so he’s off to Kuantan for training. Last i know was of him getting a head shave when he text me few weeks after he left. Anyway, i wished him good luck and asked him not to forget to share the confiscated stuff he gets while on duty.

One

Two

Three

Great bbq food but too bad i had to leave earlier to pick up my dog, Spike from the vet. He was there to get neutered after a lengthy lengthy decision making process that took months. It’s been 2 weeks now and i think he’s still the same, not gay or anything…i think.

Iron chef

Siburan community hall

Bride, groom and the usual people

Also attended one of my fellow colleague’s wedding at Siburan. I didnt really know where it was so i had to call my friend up every 2-3 minutes to make sure i wont miss the turning. They had free flow of beers but i decided not to take any because i was driving. Useless effort because after that, i met my friends for JD. All those ‘holding back’ and saying ‘no’ to my friends at the wedding for nothing.

Mr. Daniel

Chee-vas

Then on one of the weekends, my friends from Penang came back for the graduation. It was exciting because it meant i was gonna get my long waited early Christmas present, and of course because it was great to catch up with old friends again. That weekend, we went to one of the clubs in town and drank our asses off. The Core wasnt that bad la, and the crowd was not too bad either but maybe because Soho is still closed for reno. Music was good too, we had Boom Boom Pow, I Gotta a Feeling, Right Round, Sugar, Hatin on the Club and classics like Low, Dangerous, RIGHT NOWW NA NA NANANANANAANANANAN!!!!!!, KRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, BOOM SHAKE DROPPPP!!!!!! (*shrieks*) *Ahem* Not only that, we were krazy crazy enough to go back a second time the following weekend.

Gang

A new friend...

and the old ones

It was real great fun and it made me missed December 08 a lot and those crazy internship days and all my intern bradas and gang. Till this day i think that period was one of the most insanely sad and happy moment of my life. I also dunno how to describe also. Now everyone’s sort of all over the place so things cannot be as it used to be but oh boy, there wont be a moment i’ll ever forget. Anyway, also thanks to my friends that night, The Core gang, because u guys…hahahaha…love you guys! :P I bet i’ll regret so so badly if i didnt turn up that night.

It’s been almost a year since officially step out of Swinburne for good but i missed the last graduation so i had to wait almost 365 freaking days for this year’s. To be honest it felt a bit, how to say…potong steam already because we waited so long…but it was a once in a lifetime thingy so wtheck la. I had to take the day off and that means using up my very precious and limited annual leave >< After the graduation, i had to rush off to the studio for a family and personal portrait shoot with the all so famous fake book shelf backdrop. lol SO LAME

THEN, i went for my first street shoot with Louis and Allen. I felt so damn awkward at first holding a camera and take pictures but good thing i had those two shooting veterans and i settled in quite quickly. It was packed with people so take pictures was a challange…had to dodge ppl’s smelly heads and armpits. Although ironically, it’s those things that gives the place the atmosphere…hahaha. So far I found that like shooting people/humans more. My camera has also been great, even though like i said i still havent got the time to read the manual. Learn as i go lah! Really really happy with it but it’s quite a wallet cum bank account destroyer. I got a few more accessories few days ago and told myself this is where i should shop spending on my camera before i get declared a bankrupt. Anyone who is reading this, just send me a email if you have any photo shooting gatherings ok. Thanks!

Thanks guys! I had fun

MBO, The Spring

Also we went to Spring’s new cinema twice but unfortunately the two movies we watch kinda suck. The cinema was really something different though. And and…My Restaurant’s food is really good…drool.

Porky's Ribs

Slow Roasted Porky

So i think that pretty much sums up my last few weeks, now it’s back to normal again with my friends gone and me back to work without any public holidays until…i dunno when. Like i mentioned before, my exams are not round the corner but straight in front of me T.T so it’ll be revision revision revision until November. Oh ya im still scratching my head over Christmas because i’ll be off from 24 till 27 and im looking for something or somewhere to do/go.

I’ve posted more pictures on my facebook profile. GTG now. Cheerio!

Dark Knight

Anyhoo, it ROCKS!

]]> http://www.imterence.com/2009/10/04/at-the-heart-of-the-image/feed/ 0 http://www.imterence.com/2009/09/20/t-minus-5/ http://www.imterence.com/2009/09/20/t-minus-5/#comments Sun, 20 Sep 2009 13:46:01 +0000 Terence http://www.imterence.com/?p=681 [...]]]> In preparation for my dark toy, i’ve burnt another hole in my already disintegrated, non existence wallet. Wtf how is that possible. I was thinking of waiting for another month or two before getting it but then i thought, it’s not like there’s gonna be a new model or the price would drop further for that matter so i got it. It was just sooner or later. Quality is way way better than i expected and it comes with a digital controller with a feedback loop. I got the 38L as it’s quite sufficient for me already since I’m still a newbie coming into this. RH is kept quite stable inside the box, only drifts by 1-2% from the set value at most also. At 5watts, it doesn’t consume a lot of electricity so it might only cost like er…5 bucks per month maybe? …anyway, not too sure about that but another power saving function is that it actually switches itself off after achieving the targeted value (humidty stat).  SO, any of you guys want to get Aipo Dry Cabinet, i know a place hidden amongst the massage parlous in Chong Lin’s Park that sells them quite cheap. Comes with 5 year warranty.

Drying my "accidental machine washed" pendrive inside the box

To be honest, i’ve blown my budget because when i first calculated how much would the whole set cost me, i never really took into account the smaller things and various accersories like batteries, screen protector, lint-free cloth, dry cabinet, diffuser, hand grip, blower…blah blah blah.

Spudz Lens Cleaning cloth, highly recommended

It’s been an agonizing 1 week and now, T-minus 5 days. It doesn’t help when you get teaser picture like this >.<

Wtf rite? I know what a teaser photo means but this is beyond that already, i think it’s more like a mocking photo :P

Still, big thanks to black sheep for loaning your card and driving all the way down to town to get it :) November chia you cendol 1 bowl.

Also tried some PP techniques with Photoshop. Tried to apply the Lomo feel because i totally love it. My first try sucks because i screwed up the by having the masking edge too hard but anyway here it is.

Before

After

I know, still need heaps of practice.
Goodnight! Got work tomorrow -.-