The detour

My last day at work is on the 25th of February.

9 months ago i joined the company for what would be my first real job and nothing could have prepared me for what i have came across in a real work environment…not with what i studied in uni or even not with the personal accounts of my fellow friends who have already joined the workforce. I must admit that at first i was naive because i expected for things that i could never get in a real work environment and that really got me struggling with the whole ‘work-life’ thing. For one, i couldn’t really understand and accept the fact that backstabbing, people taking credit for other people’s work and stubborn people boasting as if they are Einstein happens quite often at work. I allowed these issues to bother me emotionally and so i got very unhappy and dissatisfied at work…i was ready to walk away.

However, slowly i’ve learned. I’ve learned that no matter where i work, there are bound to be people that i will not get along with. I’m far from perfect too and i’m prepared to accept that other people would not see eye to eye with me. We’re just a big bunch of very different people trying to work towards one goal, how can i expect everyone to agree to the same methods? But of course there are cases where stupid actions from certain colleagues are just not right, beyond the line of individual differences, plainly stupid and unethical…but that too, i’ve also learned to accept. Another thing that i struggled with in the beginning was the Japanese work culture which is far different from our Malaysian or European work cultures. It’s not that it’s bad because we see a lot of huge Japanese corporations around the world doing very well…it just took me a whole lot more time settling into it.

Anyway, for the last two months, i tried to channel my thoughts towards a more positive manner…i told myself that i had to be patient and be thankful that i have a job and able to bring home a humble paycheck every month to support myself. Well, it helped! I didn’t give a damn on people who pissed me off anymore, i just concentrate on my task, i let those who wanna take credit for my work to do so because i know there’s a higher power above that always knows who does what and so i was much happier at work.

With that, I thought i would stay put at least for quite some time. Then, an unknown call one January afternoon created a detour for me and soon i was on my way back to the previous company that i trained with. After putting much thought into the situation, i finally decided to leave my current company. I handed in my letter and i got mixed responses from my colleagues. Some wished me good luck and told me that it was the right thing to do but some weren’t that ‘friendly’ about it. There were the bitter ones who said i was stupid for leaving because i’ll just be more busy, get more stressed out at my job. Fact of the matter is that i think it’s very much up to personal preference. I can be super free at my current job but still i don’t have my own table or computer to do my own things, i would still need to hunt for a place to sit down…and to me, that’s not rest or freedom…it’s agonizing. Imagine putting yourself in an empty room with nothing, you’ll be very free but you’ll probably go insane also.  Is also like choosing between starving for 5 hours and then having to eat grass, or starving for 7 hours and have a New York Steak. I think those who strongly believe that they just want a super free job, are just lazy people and for sure we would still be using two rocks to start a fire if all of us humans are like that.

So yeah, even though i was getting happier, it was more about me pushing aside the negative things. I mean, the negative issues were still there, just like a pebble in my shoe. So when another job opportunity came along, i thought that it’s time to give it a try, and maybe get rid of the pebble. I told some of my friends that it’s like you walking under the hot sun, you wouldn’t die, maybe it’ll just be very uncomfortable…then along the way if someone hands you an umbrella (an opportunity), wouldn’t you take it?

Finally, I’m not saying that my new job will be better, i know i’ll need to struggle and learn everything from scratch. There will be people that would pissed me off and times that i’ll get stressed out but having a prior knowledge of the place, the culture and most of all the friends that i’ve acquainted from my tenure there as a trainee is i think, sufficient for me to want to give it my best shot at making this new chapter of my life work out in its best way!

Tomorrow is the 25th of February…

My gratitude to my current colleagues who have taught and supported me throughout the whole 9 months, and thanks to those who respected my decision to leave. I wish u guys the best and hopefully we’ll meet again someday. Thank you.