24 hours x 14 days…has been insane, busy filling my brain with operation manuals, working instructions, operating instructions, work procedures, some practical training…filling my brain with more statistics, decision theories, business forecasting, information systems management and also filling my body with so many doses of pain killers.

Just like any other company, it’s a routine for new staff to get trained and mine lasted almost for more than a week of classroom training and all of it then comes down to a test that i need to sit for tomorrow. In which failing will result in a re-training >.< If i pass, then it’s on to 4 x 2 day/night shift that im so not looking forward to, despite the extra few $$$ that i’ll be getting from that. Im still trying to get used to the new environment and i have to admit that although im starting to get the hang of things, i still feel…out of place. It feels way way different than my previous posting, i feel lost.

Still lost

Timing has also been ‘perfect’. Having to start work in May and therefore not have any annual leave for my post-grad finals sucks. Because that means i need to apply for unpaid leave, that means i don’t get paid, that means i get a less than satisfactory score for my attendance in which will affect my increment, bonus, appraisal. There’s also more fuss in applying for ‘unpaids’ as im required to explain to my bosses, show exam schedule, write formal letter. Im not trying to challenge company’s policies or complain but all these could have been avoided if the ‘timing’ was slightly better. Furthermore, my classroom training just had to start on the same week as my final exam. As if i didn’t have enough things to read and remember. So for the whole week, my schedule was 8am – 5pm training, 7pm-11pm study and 11pm-6am…too tired to sleep. I was becoming a zombie.

Not just any unpaid. Late for work unpaid

Anyway, the zombies we watch on telly usually have superhuman strength and they can never be shot dead right? Like immortal or something. Well, i felt totally the opposite. My head started to hurt all the time everyday, i started to get fevers, feeling hot then cold, i lost my sense of smell so everything i ate tasted pale (try eating while pinching your nose, you’ll get what i mean). I also had a toothache so i went to my dentist to check one day after work and guess what, he found nothing wrong with my tooth. It was agonizing every fcking day having someone pounding my brain with a hammer, drilling on my tooth and fooling around with my ‘internal temperature sensor’ everyday. I felt so shaken up like my organs are all misplaced and have gone crazy. It’s like i get an error pop up message “Sorry, your liver has encountered an error while trying to do it’s job and needs to shut down.” with no close or restart button. My only solution was painkillers which helped slightly and everyday i took at least 3, at the same time help fill my office’s waste basket with panadol wrappers.

I couldn’t see a doctor as 1) I didn’t have enough time to finish revising for finals 2) I had to see a specialist and they’re usually closed at night 3) I couldn’t afford to take sick leave because im missing 2 mornings of training for my finals already and taking sick leave means worst appraisal, bad impression, bad increment…blah blah blah…so this went on and on until last Saturday when the specialist said…