You know when we were little kids, we had a lot in common and there were the usual few things that we all liked and those that we all hated. Like how little girls were usually interested in dolls, playhouses and pretty things, boys on the other hand were always excited about their favorite superhero toy figurines and toy cars. The boys hated the girls and normally the girls feel the same about the boys too. Although that usually changes when we get older and when our hormones start telling us the opposite (of course with an exception to a few who end up falling for the same kind). Anyway, there’s one thing i can think of that im sure all of us liked when were kids, aeroplanes.

Aeroplane!

Back then, I get so distracted and excited at the sound or sight of an aeroplane overhead. Trips to the airport were always filled with excitement, because either i was going on an aeroplane or i was going to see them upclose. I remember always standing up on the benches, waiting for them to take off and wave goodbye. I wouldnt say that i got to fly frequently but throughout the years, i had my fair share family trips and saying goodbye to my relatives. It was never that emotional and sad, maybe because the trips were usually short or maybe because i was still too young for complicated feelings =P And although somewhere along the road i developed mild phobia in flying, i still enjoyed my trips and the sight of an aeroplane still excites me.

However, certain things have changed.

24 hours x 14 days…has been insane, busy filling my brain with operation manuals, working instructions, operating instructions, work procedures, some practical training…filling my brain with more statistics, decision theories, business forecasting, information systems management and also filling my body with so many doses of pain killers.

Just like any other company, it’s a routine for new staff to get trained and mine lasted almost for more than a week of classroom training and all of it then comes down to a test that i need to sit for tomorrow. In which failing will result in a re-training >.< If i pass, then it’s on to 4 x 2 day/night shift that im so not looking forward to, despite the extra few $$$ that i’ll be getting from that. Im still trying to get used to the new environment and i have to admit that although im starting to get the hang of things, i still feel…out of place. It feels way way different than my previous posting, i feel lost.

Still lost

Timing has also been ‘perfect’. Having to start work in May and therefore not have any annual leave for my post-grad finals sucks. Because that means i need to apply for unpaid leave, that means i don’t get paid, that means i get a less than satisfactory score for my attendance in which will affect my increment, bonus, appraisal. There’s also more fuss in applying for ‘unpaids’ as im required to explain to my bosses, show exam schedule, write formal letter. Im not trying to challenge company’s policies or complain but all these could have been avoided if the ‘timing’ was slightly better. Furthermore, my classroom training just had to start on the same week as my final exam. As if i didn’t have enough things to read and remember. So for the whole week, my schedule was 8am – 5pm training, 7pm-11pm study and 11pm-6am…too tired to sleep. I was becoming a zombie.

Not just any unpaid. Late for work unpaid

Anyway, the zombies we watch on telly usually have superhuman strength and they can never be shot dead right? Like immortal or something. Well, i felt totally the opposite. My head started to hurt all the time everyday, i started to get fevers, feeling hot then cold, i lost my sense of smell so everything i ate tasted pale (try eating while pinching your nose, you’ll get what i mean). I also had a toothache so i went to my dentist to check one day after work and guess what, he found nothing wrong with my tooth. It was agonizing every fcking day having someone pounding my brain with a hammer, drilling on my tooth and fooling around with my ‘internal temperature sensor’ everyday. I felt so shaken up like my organs are all misplaced and have gone crazy. It’s like i get an error pop up message “Sorry, your liver has encountered an error while trying to do it’s job and needs to shut down.” with no close or restart button. My only solution was painkillers which helped slightly and everyday i took at least 3, at the same time help fill my office’s waste basket with panadol wrappers.

I couldn’t see a doctor as 1) I didn’t have enough time to finish revising for finals 2) I had to see a specialist and they’re usually closed at night 3) I couldn’t afford to take sick leave because im missing 2 mornings of training for my finals already and taking sick leave means worst appraisal, bad impression, bad increment…blah blah blah…so this went on and on until last Saturday when the specialist said…

You were there when I first saw light.

You were there when I first cried.

You were there for my first step.

You were there when I swallow my first fish-bone.

You were there for my first day at playschool,

until my very last day at university.

Always there for me…

I know we sometimes don’t see eye to eye.

I know we sometimes have our arguments,

and I know sometimes I get pissed off because of that.

Stupidly blinded when your only intentions are what’s best for me.

You say you might be wrong,

but I might be wrong too.

Because as humans, reading the future is out of our reach.

So it’s ok.

I know sometimes I say and do the things that I shouldn’t.

I know sometimes I don’t say or do the things I should.

For that, I am sorry.

Thanks Dad for everything how big or small that you’ve done for me.

No matter how similar or different we may be,

I still love you.

Because that’s just exactly how a father son relationship should be…

beautifully imperfect =)

Me, Dad & Bro

Singapore '88

Therefore it only make sense that my first official pay check, the very first official dollar i earn by myself, goes to chipping in for your gift this father’s day. Happy snapping and happy father’s day :)

Just like how i mentioned in my previous post, photos like these bring back memories that might otherwise be just forgotten. Another one of my favorite picture,

Two monkeys & Me (Hahaha...)

Might not be the most suitable song but i love the lyrics

I love photography and i never fail to enjoy how photographers stretch their imagination to the end of the universe just to capture a picture. Just look at Ben Chrisman’s work (*please take a look at it), not just stunningly beautiful but every picture you see, it tells a story, it captures the moment, the feeling and it has the ability to bring you into the frame, just as if you were at the wedding. Just by looking through his work makes me happy! Of course, it takes amazing skills and imaginations to frame and capture shots like these. So whether it’s street photography or portraits that i especially love, the bottom line is that good pictures are able to tell good stories.

Recently i was at my nephew’s 1 year old birthday party. Obviously only a year old, he wouldn’t have a clue what was going on. He even got irritated and almost cried when he cut his cake. I was just thinking that maybe 10 years down the road, im sure that looking at the pictures will help paint him a story that he would otherwise never remember. Without photographs, we would never know how we looked like when we were young, the trouble we caused and the places we’ve been, would we? I was camera shy when i was younger, always worrying about how bad the picture would turn out but come to think of it, what we see is what we are. We may cover our faces in the picture, trying to hide it but we still have to show our faces everyday right? You don’t cover our face when you look into the mirror also ma. Anyway, since then, i decided to just take and pose la and whether i turn out looking fat or what, that’s another story.

My interest in photography have led me to decide that i should document my life, the places i’ve been and the people i meet along the way. Although looking at photographs and taking a photograph is two very different thing and even though i suck at the latter, im hoping that i can learn. Hence, im currently drooling over this, take a look.

Swing it around fast enough and it becomes a light saber

See, how can not drool? My new motto: I love Nikon. But then that’s the only thing i can do because getting one is gonna be quite rough on my bank account. Almost RM3k for the body only and RM4k+ for the kit. You know, everyday i dream about one dropping from the sky but comon, i cannot be that naive and stupid. Must do something more realistic and proper to earn one right? So…

Our minds are so capable at playing tricks at us. It was a horrible dream that seemed so real. I hate it.

Two people i love getting cancer and seeing them die.

wtf!

What an honour this early in the morning.

If you read my previous entries, you realise something is not very right about me. So, being a desperate person trying to find eternal good health and longevity get better, i went to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor.

I was never brought up going to a “chinese doctor”, it was always western medicine. It’s not because we dont trust Chinese medicine but you read a lot of these traditional herbs that contains poison and what not so it kinda freaks me out, no offense to centuries old formulae lah. I mean, baby powder also got melamine :P Anyway, since my cousin and a friend recommended me to go try, and since they are still alive after taking those chinese medicine (haha),  i thought why not lah.

Went to this shifu doctor. This is how it went:

Walked into the room –> told him my history –> havent finish talking, started to take my pulse –> “oh, your body very “hot”, cannot eat “hot” things ok?” –> “ok” –> i give u medicine. u take for two days can come back —> done.

All within 3 minutes. It’s ironic because when i go to the “western doctors” they check, listen here and there, open mouth, say AAAAAA, xray, bacteria culture, antibiotics and this guy, only touched my wrist. Amazing rite?

Shell Helix Plus

So i got myself a bottle of motor oil specially cooked portion which i dont even have the slightest clue what’s in it. Anyway, im sure with any of you, the first thing that flashes across your mind when we talk about Chinese medicine is bittergourd, soil, roots, trees, leaves, bats, disgusting taste and smell, right?  Well let me tell you because i was really really surprise because it

My my my, how time files. Here we are 6 months into 2009 in the month of June. Fresh memories of the new year and great car rides in January are still lingering around in my mind. I think in someway, everybody hates to grow old but it’s a thing we have to go through and there’s nothing we can do about it. We always dream about defying one of the basic laws of life, to stop time – freezing moments in time only because we want an extra second, minute or hour. But does it really help, is it any good? Would it be better watching only just one movie scene, repeating over and over again like a broken record or do we want the chance to watch a number or different scenes?

Restricted Area. I’m taking about my room. The place i watch movies, the place i read and go online, the place i chill out and of course the place i make many dreams.

So thanks to my lungs, i recently got to pimp my room. Well, not a big overhaul but just enough to freshen things up, my way. I have a tiny room and my parents said i could take over my brother’s room if i wanted to but somehow i prefer staying put. Maybe it’s because i adore the coziness of  a small room or maybe because im used to being in my room ever since moving in like almost 20 years ago and having a lot of memories here.

Anyway, some pictures as promised.

Elephant from Bangkok